Dir: Tony ‘Top Gun’ Scott

Cast: Tom ‘Top Gun’ Cruise, Nicole Kidman, Other people

Plot: Hot shot rookie Nascar driver played by Tom Cruise is awesome at driving race cars, has a best mate in his pit crew and doesn’t get on with his icy, less charismatic rival. Involved in a big crash which almost kills him and shatters his confidence, finds muse in a girl with a big blonde perm which allows him to re-assess his life and re-find his focus. Makes peace with rival, kicks ass in the final race and goes off with the girl.

Critical Analysis: So the film company involved naturally thinks “We’ll get the director of Top Gun, the star of Top Gun and we’ll use the basic storyline of Top Gun and we’ll get a blondie fitter than the bird from Top Gun, how could that not work?”

Well my loves, it didn’t really work as plagiarism tends not to. When something is done and done well, the general public (unless we are in a mood to be very easily pleased) tends not to be interested in a new version of the same thing, no better how well you try to mask it. But of course I’m clearly preaching to deaf ears. E.T was a massive success and clearly a true work of original brilliance, so what do these genius’ in suits do? They make ‘Mac and Me’, a story about a boy who happens upon an alien who wants to find his way home. It tanked, no shit! And it goes on, the Twilight saga gives the classic vampire concept a nice modern outlook, with phenomenal results. From then of course, somebody thinks of giving fairy tales a different outlook. “How about we do a film a bout Little Red Riding Hood?” someone murmurs, “we’ll set it in the old days but give it a thoroughly modern outlook which will allow the audience to have a completely different aspect of the character, that’ll work!”

And it does, kind of, I mean not brilliantly but it was arguably a relatively refreshing concept, but wait! Did I hear you say refreshing and original concept? Did it work? It did? Oh sweet, let’s follow the same rule with Snow White, Cinderella, Jack and the Beanstalk and that weird looking Queen with the horns from Sleeping Beauty. What? We killed the formula? Oh well, it was a fresh idea for a while, now let’s find something fresh and original so we can balls that up too!

Inspired: British people to think that Nascar would be interesting. We were wrong.

Inspired by: the storyline of Top Gun, using the director of Top Gun and the success of Top Gun.

Moral: Money isn’t everything.

Verdict: Not as good as Top Gun.

%d bloggers like this: