SCARFACE

 

Cast: Al Pacino, Michelle Pfieffer, guy with a big quiff, Maid Marion from Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.

Plot: Tony Montana is an immigrant in the good ol’ U.S of A and gets in with some bad dudes who he promptly fucks over. From then he deals lots of cocaine, snort lots of cocaine, shouts a lot and kills numerous people. He soon introduces everybody to his little friend, shoots his load before getting rifled from behind.

Critical Analysis: So much shouting. It’s like going round my Aunties for a family barbecue, there really is no need for it, you are a yard away, we will hear you fine!

Inspired by: ‘Scarface’

Inspired: Al Pacino to make a career out of shouting, mumbling and making random noises from then on.*

Watch it for: the seriously awesome bath.

Moral: Just say no kids!

 Verdict: Nothing to be snorted at. That’s a cocaine gag. Yes, I went there!

*Ignoring ‘Carlito’s Way’, ‘Insomnia’ and ‘Heat’, although the ‘great ass’ line from Heat does sort of exemplify my point.